Tuesday, August 30, 2016

That Question

It's a completely innocent question, usually from strangers. But constantly reopens healing wounds.

Mini Photographer in training
at commencement
"How many kids do you have?" "Is he your only one?"

I didn't even get a reprieve from being asked that during my miscarriage.

He was completely ignorant of the circumstances, how could he be anything but? A college student waiting to play with the band for the commencement ceremony at my sister's college graduation, he was simply enjoying watching my son's antics in the family viewing room. We knew we'd already lost the baby and the next day would confirm that fact. But that day, his question hit me right in the gut.

"Is he your only one?"

I had to make that split second decision. This young man didn't know my struggle and he didn't need to be burdened with it either. "For now" was what I left it at as I teared up. It was hard to say that and feel almost as if I was denying my baby's very existence, but it was all I had to give to a stranger who knew nothing of what was going on in my heart.

I know that my answer will not always be the same. There are those who have walked this road before me and will welcome my acknowledgement of the child I never held.There are those who walked this road with me that will welcome the chance to acknowledge their own losses. But there are also times where grace and compassion for others needs to be foremost in my heart and mind.

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always." (derived from a quote by Ian Maclaren)

He wasn't unkind, I was simply fighting a battle he was unaware of. Everyone around you is. Be kind.

Soli Deo Gloria,

1 comment:

Cari said...

Hugs to you, dear Meghan. I know the pain of that loss, and so does our Savior, who will carry you through.
Your old fourth grade teacher is praying that you and your husband will feel God's presence in the midst of this pain and sorrow...and that the hope of holding that baby one day in heaven will, in time, bring you comfort.
Much love,
Mrs. Morrison