Saturday, May 4, 2013

Don't Worry...

I think God is trying to teach me something...

You know sometimes how multiple things will all happen in a short time frame that all address the same issue? And you're certain that God is just nudging you, asking "Are you paying attention?" Well, it's been like that for me the past couple weeks.

It all started with this song:
 "If we're gonna pray about it, there's no use in worrying.
If we're gonna worry about it, why are we praying?
Just leave it in the hands of the Father
Leave it in the hands of the Healer
Leave it in the hands of Jesus and Walk Away..."
~"Hands of the Healer", Brandon Heath

And then our pastor preached on worry this past Sunday:

"Worry is the emotional reward for material preoccupation." Wow...

My husband had agreed to cover for our Sunday School teacher next week so after church, we picked up the new materials from him. Turns out the material is different character studies from the Old Testament. And then we found out who he would be teaching on...Hannah. (For those who don't know Hannah's story, you can check it out in 1 Samuel 1.)

Hannah's story has been resonating with me lately. You see, Dan and I have known for a long time that we wanted children. We started talking about raising a family before we were even engaged while we were getting to know each other. We even made it one of our goals to be pregnant by our second anniversary.

Obviously, God had other ideas.

You see, after our first anniversary, we stopped trying to avoid pregnancy. Just a couple months later, we actively were trying to conceive. That was more than a year ago now...

When I met with my doctor in October, she looked at my NFP charts and we chatted for a bit about where Dan and I were at and what our goals were. We discussed steps I could take to try and help and that, if nothing happened, I should set up an appointment with her in 6 months to discuss our testing options. Since we'd already been trying for a bit, she didn't want to make me wait the traditional year. She was really sweet (I love when meeting new docs goes well) and even said that she hoped she got to see me sooner for better reasons (i.e. being pregnant).

Obviously, God has other ideas.

Our appointment to meet with her to discuss our options and first steps is in mid-June. We had hoped to avoid this journey. Yet at the same time, we knew it was very possible we would be asked to walk this path since both of our moms had issues getting pregnant and, once they did, were considered high-risk. So we knew it was a possibility, one that seems to be becoming a reality.

And this is why I think God has been putting all these "moments" in my life lately. Moments of telling me "I've got this." Whispering "I know your heart" and "Trust me." Only He knows what the future holds and, if I'm going to (and have been) pray about it, then what's the use of worrying? "And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" (Luke 12:25)

So I'm thankful for small reminders, even when they pull at my heart and remind me of this desire. I'm grateful for that still, small voice that reminds me of how He holds me in His hands. So now I will attempt to do my part and leave it in the hands of the Healer.

Because God's plans are always the best.

Thank you for reading. I know this is longer and deeper than I may usually go in my writing so I appreciate you sticking it out to the end. :) Prayers are greatly cherished as we begin our walk down what could be a difficult road.

Soli Deo Gloria (Glory to God Alone),


Shamrock said...

I pray that God answers your prayers as he did Hannah's. And I pray for peace for you while you wait. Hugs!

Maachathi said...

Praying for you Meg! I went through six years of waiting before finally getting pregnant with Jaime. So I completely understand where you're coming from. Hugs!