Saturday, August 24, 2013

Hardest Words

A couple of months back, I heard some of the hardest words a woman of child-bearing age who wants to have children could hear...

We've been going through some testing to try and find out why we've been unable to have children after more than a year (almost two years) of trying (more on that here). We've poured out our hearts to God about our desire for this blessing and many friends have joined us in approaching the throne of grace with this request.

We decided on a course of action with my doctor. We had blood work done. I had an HSG test (x-ray scan). Everything came back normal with no statistically significant deviations. When my doctor called to discuss the latest results and next steps, we had our initial diagnosis...

Unexplained Infertility.

What my heart heard: "We have no clue why you aren't pregnant already..."

I'll tell you, it's not quite what I expected. It's only the initial, easy tests of course, but still. I guess I thought if there was anything actually wrong that it would come up by now. I assumed it would be an easy issue that would resolve with just a few more pieces of information, more data. I assumed wrong.

So now we move forward in faith. We're discussing next steps with my doctor and will soon choose a path to follow. We've started to discuss at what point we stop any medical treatments and begin pursuing adoption.We continue to pray and lay our hearts out before God. We know that He has a plan for us.

It may not make this journey any easier, but it is reassuring to know that my tear-soaked prayers are heard by the One who loves me most. May God see fit to bless us in His timing.

"She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly." 1 Samuel 1:10

Soli Deo Gloria,


Virginia Coffman said...

Sorry to learn of your frustration and sadness. Conceiving is a natural thing, but not an easy thing for some of us. Sleep well in the knowledge and assurance that God knows your pain and He will provide the answers when it's time for you to know. In the meantime, Praise His Name and rely on His wisdom.

He knows the whole puzzle. We only know one small piece.

Love you two and I'll be praying for you. : )

Anonymous said...

Two years for us as well with no results. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. Had surgery had pharmaceutical treatment, had more tests and doctors aren't sure what else wrong. No visible scarring or other problems. Maybe it's not meant to be. I don't know. My poor husband is distraught at times. I was wondering what your thoughts are on infertility? Such as some churches still believe that it's a curse passed down. Others that maybe you just need more prayer or that maybe something's wrong in your life that you're not "right with God" or my favorite "we're being punished." In dealing with this though I sometimes can see how short our time truly is here on Earth and how showing Christ's love towards others especially the lost is so important. But this whole personal mountain is sometimes overwhelming when you want something as much as a child. Much love to you, thanks for your continuing posts. They give me hope. -Jen