For years, I've told people that I'm overall pretty healthy
with the exception of being overweight. Yes, I was tired almost as soon as I
woke up, plucked wiry stray hairs off my chin and neck occasionally, still
dealt with acne in my 30’s, but I thought this was my normal. But what if it's
not?
We won't be able to discuss it with the doctor until our
comprehensive management review post-op appointment in mid-October, but the
office sent us a copy of my blood test results from the National Hormone Lab.
It was eye-opening to say the least.
Very few of my hormones are actually within the normal
range, most of them are too low, one of them is too high. In my assessment, it
will probably explain a good chunk of our fertility issues but there's more.
You see, this isn't “normal”. My life, my health? Not normal. I cried thinking
about it, looking at those results, but maybe not for the reason you're thinking.
I cried because it gave me HOPE.
The way I've felt for years, that I thought was normal? It's
not normal! And… What if? What would life be like if those numbers were in a
normal range? How much better might I feel than I do now? How life-changing might
this be, not just on our infertility journey, but overall?
The final step before an official diagnosis and forming a
treatment plan is my diagnostic laparoscopy on Thursday, October 11th. We will
then meet with our doctor the following Monday where we might finally get
answers we've been looking for all these months and years.
So I'm holding on to the hope that God has given me in the
midst of all this. And not only the hope for another baby anymore (though of
course I still do), but also the hope of better health. For while my body bears
the evidence of sin and the Fall and will never be perfect this side of
eternity, I know the Great Physician can still accomplish His Will in spite of
whatever my circumstances may be.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Meghan
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